scrubs ending quotes

Carla: That depends, what are we talking about? Dr. Cox: Everyone, we can all relax now. J.D. Dr. John 'J.D.' Well at least I remembered the plans well enough to flake on them! 's new apartment] [looks up at the ceiling fan] Awesome ceiling fan. He watches his marriage to Elliot, life with a pregnant Elliot, and a Christmas spent at the Turks with Dr. Cox and Jordan sometime after Carla and Elliot's respective pregnancies. Dr. Kelso: [drunk at Turk and Carlas wedding reception] Ahh, Dr. Turkleton! Don't cry. Dr. John 'J.D.' Ted Buckland: Oh we're having sex like all the time. Hence, girl problems. Dr. Perry Cox: Oh, so that's why we're over there! Jordan Sullivan: The only thing better than going on vacation without our kids is going on vacation without our kids and you're too busy to spend time with me. I mean, you're feeling lonely, you're feeling rejected. looks on]. It was just gonna be me, a 24-ounce porterhouse, and a fistful of blood thinners. He's explaining to that family that something went wrong, and that patient died. Bill Lawrence later confirmed on Facebook and Twitter that, Dr. Kelso's theft of the Coffee Bucks table mirrors how he stole his, The episode was split in two parts on DVD, ABC.com, Hulu, Netflix and syndicated reruns, but aired as an hour long single episode when it originally aired on, There have been multiple "super-sized" episodes including ", In this episode, J.D. Dr. Kim Briggs: I do! Neena Broderick: Well, maybe I just said that to make it easier for you. So you pulled pigtails and you pushed the fat kids into the dirt so no one could ignore little Perry. Dr. Perry Cox: Eh, you marry someone just like your mother... And then remember you hate your mother. Shall we have some fun and take a look? But I find that Jordan is a little bit more on the lines of teeth and tongue and fangs. Dr. Cox: How is it, exactly, that you just said that & your pants are still dry? Rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrooooh! In a way, you can learn everything you have to know from watching it as a kid. Billy Callahan: Geez, that's a nightmare. Janitor: Who around here commands more respect than the men who wear blue and green? OK? Why do people keep marrying Larry King? [Dr.Cox walks out of the ward and closes the door behind him as J.D. Dr. Cox: It has gotten to the point where I'm starting to go back in my head over all my old relationships. [Exits left], J.D. And I'm done here. Mr. Sutton: I'm starting to see why Leon outfoxed you... Dr. Christopher Turk: Stupid bird stole my hat! The guy we bought him from used to keep him in a box full of old hats. J.D. Nurse Carla Espinosa: A job application for The Gap... [starts to cry]. And where do we meet up in heaven? Dr. Elliot Reid: Sorry, mom. Dr. Perry Cox: All right now, children. What do we have here? [He shakes Ted's head again], Ted Buckland: Ask again later. : [Walks back on screen] Right the first time [Exits right]. You have until I finish my squeezie juice. Janitor: Thanks for the coffee. J.D. I did it... Turk: If you really love someone you've got to be willing to break their spirit. : Well, that's easy, Lonnie, what you want to do... Lonnie: 'd like my answer from the *chief* resident. Dr. Kevin Casey: Hey, J.D., wanna get a beer after work? Not me. : ...Say it - -say it without the Dr. Who are you people to give me advice about anything? So don't break stride. : [whistles] Here's the deal, Eleonore. No more making deals with God every time a truck passes me on the freeway, okay? You play hard for half an hour, work up a sweat, and hope you don't get hit in the eye. Dr. Cox: [as Kelso sits next to him on the couch] What is it, Bob? Dorian: Really? : My high school teacher, Mr. Peters, died. All of the famous TV quotes from Scrubs are entertaining, and these Dr Cox quotes are almost guaranteed to make you laugh. suddenly becomes very interested in Turk's cereal]. Just how long has it been since you swept the stuffed animals off your bed, thrown your ankles up in the air, and thanked whatever god you pray to that you didn't have on your granny panties? J.D. Pa-ZOW! It's one of the reasons that I'm a winner. J.D. Carla: Hey J.D. [to Jordan] Now, would you like me to call you a cab or should I just whistle and have the flying monkeys bring the broom around? Dr. Elliot Reid: Oh, and Per... you were wrong: someone is dumb enough to love me. Elliot is pregnant, and J.D. I'm going with female pop stars today. Even if we did talk from morning till night about all the big and tiny things that matter most to me. : Well, I think the obvious answer is to draw Sean's face on it and tell him you grew it because you missed him. Dr. Cox: Fine, Lonnie. Turk: [mumbling to J.D] Yeah that's right, lettin' them know. J.D. Dr. John 'J.D.' The fact is those people were gonna die in a number of hours and you had to make the call! I think I saw a manatee. And I used that to sleep with all those mothers. : Don't make me say "pants" - I'll do it. I get that. The Janitor: [sitting on a chair, petting an invisible cat; speaks in a fake English accent] So... you don't want to know the ending of something. Your ex-wife, that med student, your ex-wife, the cute nurse from radiology, your ex-wife... Dr. Cox: Would you please get off my ex-wife? Dr. John "J.D." The M-m-mighty Kites? Leslie: When do you turn nice? If you happen to be keeping score at home, that would be Medicine, One -God, Zero. : "Nothing more we can do right now" implies there may be something we can do tomorrow. Dr. Perry Cox: You see, for me sex is a sport. [out loud] Was it because I broke up with you? Chasing tail! Dr. Elliot Reid: No, I must have left it at college. 4. J.D. I've been involved in every ridiculous TV induced panic there is - poison pills, SARS, West Nile, North Face, South Fork, East River, Monkeypox, pop rocks, toilet snakes, Mad Cow, Bird Flu, Swine Flu, and quite frankly every other flu that you could really only catch if you actually fornicated with the animal it's named for. ” “I guess when you care about someone, you’ll do … Dr. Cox: To laugh, to cry, to cry from laughing, but mostly to laugh at two desperate guys on an iceslide to an irralivant middle age. Nurse Carla Espinosa: Did he say "back in the day"? Now take Jack; Jordan'll kill me if he's not there. Dorian: I should get Turk a washboard. Dr. Perry Cox: I'm sure the pulse setting on your shower head will be devastated. She brightened my day. Turk: OK baby, don't get too excited, they have to cool off for at least a minute. Well, any of them'd give just about anything to be able to sashay off this planet, but most are gonna stay and live forever and ever and ever; and your Mr Milligan... well, it turns out he's just young enough to die. Dr. John 'J.D.' J.D. The truth is, it is all your memories, the joyful ones and the heartbreaking ones, that make up who you are as a person. Don't smother your kids. [points at security guard] four: checked out my jug at the urinal. Take your favorite fandoms with you and never miss a beat. Ben: Hey, JD, my sister, Danni, is more of a gentle kisser, don't you think? Jordan: Perry, this is your son, not a pitbull. [to the kid] Will you help me communicate with your dad? Clock: Oh, Dr. Kelso's all bluster. You think it's funny that one of the surgeons paid his dwarf cousin, Lance, two hundred dollars to show up at rounds and sing, "Ding-dong, Kelso's dead!"? [closes the imaginary glass bubble's door]. Awful! Melody O'Harra: You can't go into Boobtown. Dr. Cox: ...Of course I would go kill him right now, but he actually just helped to prove my point! Jordan Sullivan: Not a hug moment, sweetie. Dear Lord, what in thy most Holy Name have I done to offend thee so? Turk: [they walk past Elliot uneventfully] Dude, you're totally hitting that! Look, I can't just un-e-vite everyone. [Elliot's cell phone rings but she ignores it]. Jordan: Oh, he also thanked me for not naming him Brantley. I've been programmed to think that a baby is the worst possible consequence of sex. Dr. Cox: Fair enough. Paige: Okay, I need to go say hi to Jordan. Dr. Christopher Turk: I love large groups of white people eating pollen. He cares. After the wedding, you wouldn't even take Turk's name! Turns out it was... well, it was diabetes. Billy Callahan: It's quite a sight to wake up to. Jordan Sullivan: You are so much stronger than all the other idiot residents around here. He tells them that it is alright. : [Voiceover] Walked right into that one. Dr. Kelso: The real question is: how can I make love to her when she's *not* at fat camp? You open up this door in the next three seconds, or I will start huffing and puffing. Dorian: I can't wait to chronicle this one. Emery: [singing] Goin' to graduation, I'm goin' to graduation. : [internal] I think childbirth has been way too romanticized. Elliot: Mostly pop songs. Elliot: Yeah, I don't like anyone touching me unless we're gonna have sex. J.D. You went with your gut; Elliot's a great doctor. Carla: Babmi, I'm gonna put my e-foot up your ass. Janitor: There was one other girl a few years ago, red-haired doctor. and Dr.Cox's pagers go off. Nurse Laverne Roberts: Don't you usually wait 'till you get home to do that? ZOOM ZOOM ZOOM! I had mine done back in '68; ironically that was the same year that Enid discovered pasta and I discovered I'm not attracted to enormous women. I assume you want it filthy. This ain't be what it looks like... a'ight? To tell you the truth there is only one person here who is funny no matter what he says. And then you jump out and yell, "That's me!". Nurse Carla Espinosa: Keith... you better not tell her who did it. Look I'm not proud of this but I can pick your puff and stuff out of a line-up. [to J.D., who's smiling] What? Elliot: Really? Dr. Perry Cox: Julie, this is my ex-wife, Jordan. I mean, bravo! Dr. Cox: Two good reasons: his face and his personality. Private Brian Dancer: Oh no, filthy's fine. Janitor: I knew you would. Elliot: How did this conversation become about me? It's over. And oh my God stop telling me when you have nerdy sex! Dan Dorian: [stands, then smiles] Thanks, Coxy. Elliot: Well, I haven't pooed in six days. Dr. Perry Cox: Where's your camera, aren't you gonna take some pictures? Dr. Elliot Reid: And are they both trying not to laugh at the word "duty"? What? Beard*fac?*! And you know as well as I do, one of these days he's gonna open up a bottle of white wine for you when you really prefer red, except you never told him that; and you wanna know why? Dr. Perry Cox: No, Bob, everybody gets the same. But you stood by my side, and you guided me through it. Not so I could read it, or anyone else could read it. Not a match! Dr. Kelso: I'm gonna tell you the same thing I told my new gardener; no way, Jose. Elliot: Uh, what's with the second beeper? Dr. Cox: No Ted. : [narrating] I knew it was my turn to let Dan have it, but for some reason I wasn't mad. I hate pudding and I don't use... toilet paper. Do you have any idea who's gonna get those three attending spots next year? Elliot: Why, because he's afraid of speaking in public? Dr. Perry Cox: You are, in fact, a perfectly healthy 26-year-old doctor who keeps crying about how horrible his father was. The most popular color? And then if you're a really good girl, I'll wind up your car and take you out to a talkie. Not real love, anyway... Dr. Bob Kelso: Yeah? He is so black, so bald, and he can't eat cupcakes because he's got diabetes; ladies and gentlemen, Chris Turk! there's a story about Lindsay Lohan's fabulous new Tribeca loft. Your new cool guy walk? Turn him into some kind of cynical guy who seems to despise what he does. Dr. John 'J.D.' Clock: [returns with a tray] Oh, that is not my food. spots Dr. Cox and Jordan and gives Perry a present: a pleather-bound collection of all of his rants, organized and ranked by how much they emotionally hurt him. Nothing in this world that's worth having comes easy. / What's going to happen... / To me? Dr. Perry Cox: The value, and this is important, of leaving me alone. Elliot: Dr. Cox, this is the most painful thing I've ever done and I was a cutter for a week in high school. Dr. Cox: [Dr. Kelso gives him a latte] Boy oh boy, you are really digging the heck out of this "secret friendship" thing. J.D. I'll call her and tell her not to come. Is it steel? : Well, that's kind of a trick question, Turk. It's a risky move, I know, but Dr Jarvis here said it'll be all right. has a bullhorn and a Viking hat] Attention, Sacred Heart! Gloria: But my boyfriend's bi-curious, and he wants me to pick his lovers. David Copperfield: [mocking] Haw-haw! Nurse, do you mind? Dr. John 'J.D.' Ted you're giving sad eye! It means "Alias". Dr. John 'J.D.' Really? But I will not have my woman tell me when I need to go to bed! "Scrubs Quotes." I would've made the same call. So I said "Get off my girl before I kick your ass so deep you're gonna be crapping out Keds for a week!". Elliot: I heard you're telling everyone I violated you. Now Dorian seems to make you happy,god knows why, isn't that enough? No way, Jose. [J.D. Dr. Kelso: [talking to the janitor] Do you know the number one cause of death in the hospital? Do I... do I smell beer? I slept with Jenny Johnson's older brother in high school, and then he decided to tell all of his friends what my orgasm face looked like. Dr. Perry Cox: So, Nurse Gandhi-rella, I need you to suction this guy, do a wet-to-dry dressing change, and, oh, what the hell, go ahead and top him off with one of your special, special sponge baths. [Dr. Cox appears as Alice from the Brady Bunch then looks at J.D] Aren't ya? You wish WE were more like the Randolphs, don't you? : [joining in] "... waffles of mine...". Then this won't hurt then. Dr. John 'J.D.' The kitchen fire of '98. Did you try to lay off the read meat, buddy? J.D. Dr. Cox: Can I comment on the baptism dress? J.D. Dr. Kelso: And I'll be damned if he doesn't disagree with everything I say just because I said it. And I'm not the only one. You're not even going! Dr. John 'J.D.' [continues to look at menu]. Dorian: Turk... we tried Giant Black Guy. Clock: Please, I mean, who could imagine what it's like in your head? And the shirts... and the shoes... and sometimes my underwear. "My Soul on Fire, Part 2" And now look - he's actually taking the traffic cone, putting it in the minivan, and driving away while the little boy cries, and the traffic cone sits quietly and watches Finding Nemo on DVD.". Why, I'm not in right now, but at the beep leave your name and your penis size". Dr. Christopher Turk: Dude, the lifeguard told me to go. [Turk is occupying Dr. Kelso's lunch spot]. Dorian: In musicals, there's always a happy ending. Dr. John "J.D." Dr. Cox: I need you to come upstairs and talk to a young black girl who will not let me call her mom. The whole crew learn their share about death when JD takes care of an old woman ready to die, Elliot and Carla watch over a woman who can't speak English, and Turk becomes too close with a patient. Gregory Marks: Hey, I bought you a journal. He's never been there for you! [Turk is picking a team for a basketball game. Eighteen We're done. : Well, if he freaked you out, why don't you go talk to him? And... sometimes because it's fun. Dr. Bob Kelso: Oh, I'm sorry sport. Turk: Whoa, whoa, I just took out his appendix.”. Dorian: [narrating while cuddling Kim] It felt good to be holding the mother of my child... Dr. John 'J.D.' I did it, I'm a genius. : Let me finish... what if the parents were, like, abusive drug-addicts who would neglect their kid? Smart kid. : [narrating to himself] And then I did something I've never done before... [Out loud] Look, Doctor! : First of all, no-one understands relationships like Billy Joel, okay? Dr. Christopher Turk: Can you just get out of here so we can get back to work? : Uhhh, Turk, I think we've already decided on bunion-face! Jordan: You're... you're friend with all these people? "My Finale" Dr. Cox: You know, the only way you could be more useless right now is if you actually were the wall. Of course you'd certainly be vulnerable from a legal standpoint. Elliot: [to Carla] You wouldn't believe how many women's bajingos we looked at today! : Yes, I did. Elliot: I'll write rare dry spell in the margin. Dr. Molly Clock: Nurse Roberts, if you still wanna talk about that situation with your husband, we can go to my office now. Oh... and just a great big congratulations on your ongoing streak of being the world's worst older brother. Don't get me wrong, I want to watch something about Lindsay Lohan; I'm just a little lost, here. Isn't that ridiculous? Dorian: [out loud] You're a good friend. You're very predictable. Oh, what the hell, you're only forty minutes late. [lights go out, a spotlight falls on the Janitor]. Hell, without anesthesia, you made it halfway through a surgery. Dorian: Because, Brad, I'm the kind of clown that likes to wear tight pants. : The best thing about this place is that when someone's really in trouble, all the pettiness melts away. Carla: Why is there a pancake in the silverware drawer? his voice]... Other times it gets right up in your grill. Blow it out your ass, Bob. Dr. Kelso: Oh, I'm so sorry. Dr. Molly Clock: Oh, I'm just here as a friend. Dr. Perry Cox: How 'bout a russian roulette booth, and, here's the kicker. Dr. Elliot Reid: Oh, verdammt noch mal. Nothing. [leans in to kiss him]. It is even possible to give the right answer in this game? Dr. Christopher Turk: Elliot, nobody respects clinic doctors. Turk: I just put some pizza rolls on the microwave oven; the minute that bad boy rings we're good to go. J.D. [Smacks camera and shakes finger] Bad uterus! It just seems wrong. Dorian: [J.D. J.D. Dr. Perry Cox: Effective immediately, I will stop calling you girls' names... you interested now? I guess I came over here to tell you how proud of you I am. Jordan Sullivan: That is not helpful, Turkleton! And now, as agreed, you owe me a night on the town and some "me actually getting to finish" sex. When I was a kid, mine didn't have these windows. Ted: Oh, definitely, sir. Dorian: Makes everything seem more dramatic. Narrating] I knew that Dr.Cox needed me the exact same way I'd needed him earlier. 6. Dr Reid's covering, but she's sort of indisposed. comforts Claire; Dan arrives at their back, holding a bunch of flowers]. Dr. Elliot Reid: And Turk, you freaked out when the hernia patient listened to me over you. [reaches for pens, Dr. Cox knocks the pens off the counter] You just bought yourself four weekends on call! Dr. Cox: I know, it's a conundrum but don't you worry, I'll noodle it for you right here. Dr. Christopher Turk: [Pointing at Cox] 'Cause he told me not to! But that's not it. [crazy glare] If it happens again, I'm gonna take one of your fingers. Turk: I'm a little preoccupied right now. J.D. And I don't want you to take this negatively or anything like that, but that makes you a Devil Woman. Is that a cat being gutted by a fishing knife? Dr. Elliot Reid: [Snuggles into his shoulder] Well Dr. Dorian, you have me. Jordan: Why is there an intern in my bathroom? Dr. Elliot Reid: I honestly don't mind that you're making fun of me but what does bother me is that no one is ever allowed to make fun of you. Dr. Cox arrives to take over rounds, and ignored J.D. Dorian: [J.D. I had tons of friends at my old hospital. Murray Marks: Why do you keep talking about your boss like he's your father. .calling them all 'Pepe' was apparently just racist enough to get me a life-long ban from the Appalachian Rookie League. Dr. Perry Cox: Look... First of all, it's not like you tripped and fell into her... and then out of her... and then into her... again. / Plan for tomorrow / 'Cause we swear to you, / You're going to be okay. Clock: Look, you're obviously really distracted by the situation with your marriage. WHAT'S GOING ON HERE? I have gone with Lassie because of course it satisfies the criteria of being both a girl's and a dog's name, thus helping you to ease into the transition. Girl, please. But I can assure you the one thing I am not is... Dr. Perry Cox: Audience participation is now over. Spence: Yeah, but you said it was his.

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